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Just put windshield wiper fluid in my car all by myself. Does this mean I'm a masc top now?

I didn’t order pineapple but it’s on there, and honestly it kinda works with the banana peppers and chicken. So, uh, thanks @dominos@twitter.com I guess? instagr.am/p/CVT0PnuJ8DR/

I’m not “gay” as in “happy”, I’m “queer” as in “stop asking me for interior design tips and help me find a husband”.

The fun part of testing software is seeing stuff like this cool banner by Ray Oliveira. instagram.com/rayoliveira.desi

Out: @fieldnotesbrand@twitter.com Elemental, gold, with custom watercolor by @forgoodcause@twitter.com and signed by @draplin@twitter.com

In: custom @shopdenik@twitter.com featuring my floral taco print inspired by @ktscanvases@twitter.com

Both in handy and versatile vinyl covers by @dialog_notebook@twitter.com

instagr.am/p/CVKClLHsXVo/

If you like my blog’s puzzles, you’ll be pleased to know I’ve got a new book coming out, Mensa Best Brain Benders. It’s my sixth book with @skyhorsepub@twitter.com and @AmericanMensa@twitter.com and includes a variety of puzzle types. skyhorsepublishing.com/9781510

For any trans people who need to hear this:

Your body is beautiful. You're worthy of being desired, if that's something you want.

Whether you choose to transition (and in whatever direction you want), and wherever you are in that process -- you're seen, you are believed, and I'm proud to be your sibling.

When you look in the mirror, you deserve to hear, "Hey, Beautiful." If you don't hear it in your voice, hear it in mine.

Your strength is incredible. You come from a long tradition of transgender people, stretching back to the earliest days of humanity.

Let the haters shout into the void. You don't need to. The Void already loves you. ✨​

(cis people please boost)

isabelle wielding a broken beer bottle: you crossed the wrong animal, bitch

Due to supply chain issues, I am currently out of fucks to give.

Hey @MayorMattie@twitter.com we need more places to recycle in Fort Worth. This line at theOld Hemphill drop off is ridiculous.

CW: Historical discussion mentioning violence, firearms, death. 

History lesson about why Amazon’s “company towns” are a bad idea. By @starklyjd on Twitter

reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments

reddit.com/gallery/pyxq7n

I’m so tired it took me almost a week to remember to post this charcuterie/grazing board that single-handedly ruined my diet last weekend. The occasion was co-solving the first half or so of Burn After Solving with Extra Credit (and TMcAy, Jenergy, and Y… instagr.am/p/CVBnw9vs4Ky/

Pro tip: wake up. Oversleeping doesn't count as billable hours even if you were having nightmares about work.

To whom it may concern (@netflix@twitter.com) I need season three of immediately. I also need better wifi to stream to my bedroom TV and Ayaz to be my big spoon for binge watching it. Thank you in advance.

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