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Just put windshield wiper fluid in my car all by myself. Does this mean I'm a masc top now?

Woooooooord
RT @alyssaxgnzalez@twitter.com Everyone is so excited for Thanksgiving & Christmas but if you got a broken family, youโ€™d know why this be feeling like the worst time of the year sometimes

๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ”—: twitter.com/alyssaxgnzalez/sta

New rollout. Out: Portland @fieldnotesbrand@twitter.com (78 days) In: @zumiez@twitter.com store branded with custom @slushcult@twitter.com screen print. instagram.com/p/BqGMC2rhUHY/

Kicked out of Italy for referring to ravioli as "Hot Pocket Boilerz"

I fed over 8,000 CNN Business headlines to a neural net to see which new headlines it would predict.
For some reason, it predicted companies behaving rather badly.

aiweirdness.com/post/179938486

โ€œCan I get a five piece tender combo?โ€
โ€œSHHHHSHHHSWHAT TWO SIDESSSHHHHHHH??โ€
โ€œUh.... inside and outside?โ€

I feel like I don't explicitly state this often enough, but I want to see a future where most people are on federated social networks. Mastodon, Pleroma, Misskey, etc, instead of Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

Still no momma cat but plenty of stroopwafel liqueur. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Momma cat is missing. Iโ€™m fearing the worst.

Hey @netflix@twitter.com what are yโ€™all up to next summer? I was just thinking... Big Brother: A Netflix Original has a nice ring to it... @bbuk@twitter.com @EmmaWillis@twitter.com @Rylan@twitter.com

Chronic Illness Show more

YOU DUMMY YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER HATES YOU AND WONโ€™T SHED A TEAR UNTIL TWENTY MINUTES FROM NOW WHEN YOU TAKE A LASER BLAST TO THE CHEST TO SAVE HER FROM THE ALIENS YOU DUMB FUCKBOI THIS WHY YOU NEVER SHOULDA HAD KIDS YOU WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF YOU PULLED OUT AND FINISHED ON THE MOMโ€™S FACE BUT NAH YOU DEAD, DUMB ASS PROTAGONIST I SWEATR GOD

Hey @torani@twitter.com will you send my bar manager friend some free syrup if we promise to get day drunk and come up with cocktail recipes* for you?

* of questionable quality

Toasted sesame? Maybe tahini?
RT @torani@twitter.com Weโ€™re coming out with two new flavors! RT and answer with your best guess. We'll randomly choose 5 winners. Hint: it has a sweet toasted aroma.

๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ”—: twitter.com/torani/status/1059

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Puz dot Fun

Private instance for puzzle author David Millar and a few homies.