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Just put windshield wiper fluid in my car all by myself. Does this mean I'm a masc top now?

Yo instead of getting up in arms about the pizza cutter incident, maybe work on putting salads and desserts back on the $5.99 deal and adding a 4-pack of sodas to that. That's gonna be a way bigger dealbreaker for me if you want my business.

Not sure what’s more concerning: the massive moth in front of my apartment door or the fact that it’s leaving cigarette butts everywhere.

Just realized that the reason itches my brain so good is because the dairy section is literally how my brain responds when malfunctioning.

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Finished watching season 1 of by last night. ( It's the perfect blend of goofy skits, spicy bars, self-care reminders, and mini crash courses in how to Do the Work™. Looking forward to season 2! (and 3+?)

Me in a zombie movie: “I miss chips”
Zombie: *rips out my throat with its teeth*
Disheveled zaddy: *sniper shot to my and the zombie’s heads*
Total screen time: 47 seconds.

New menu looks pretty much like the old Subway menu: moist trash. They coulda saved themselves if they added more plant-based proteins and like ten more sauces instead of just slicing the meat thinner. is

My writing style is I’m just the pizza guy that hears “extra cheese” and says “you don’t know shit about the cheese I’ve seen” while holding back tears and pouring a 5 lb bag of mozzarella onto a helpless thin crust.

NGL I’ve read spoilers about the “revamp” due to arrive tomorrow and it sounds like a bunch of minor, boring tweaks with fancy branding to distract from the cost-cutting aspects. I’m ready for my fellow millennials to kill off the chain.

Wrote a “snooze link” iOS shortcut so I can procrastinate more efficiently.

Am I a dapper napper or just an overcommitted shithead?

Been enjoying the series A Very $ilky Show, and really related to what said about wanting to just put in effort and fix stuff and the frustration of that not working in situations.
CW: Episode addresses the George Floyd murder.

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